Returning to Reality

I have chills writing this email. Partly due to the air conditioning in the internet place. I swear I leave here with a cold everytime, I am so used to living in tropical heat. But, mostly, my chills come from the feeling I get talking about Tabuga. Tabuga is my home now and it is my reality. After vacation in the Galapagos, party time in Canoa and relaxation in the PentHouse I returned to Tabuga weary of the reality I live in. As always, Tabuga suprised me and today I love Tabuga more than ever, I love that it is my home and my current reality. I respect that it isn´t always going to be my reality but I have embraced it with all my heart, and in return Tabuga has embraced me. The chills continue...

Saturday evening I returned to Tabuga sleepy or should I say passed out on the bus. A neighbor had to wake me up. I could hear the music blaring from the farside of town, an awful techno-cumbia echoing through the hills surrounding Tabuga. I knew I had to find the energy to go, all of Tabuga attends the fiestas and this was for the school. Each grade has a little king and queen dolled up to represent their classmates. I couldn´t miss the photo opportunity and honestly, I missed the people of Tabuga. So, I Ecua-showered (threw water in my hair and on my face) and headed with my Conmadre (mother of my godson) to the fiesta. To be honest, this fiesta was a little dull and I wasn´t the only one without energy. The presentation of the queens was adorable and after one extra-long Ecuad-dance with my godson I returned home. That night I went to sleep with a big smile. I had just spent time with so many good friends and then, back in my home I was happy, people were happy to see me and I felt fully content.

In the middle of the night I woke up in the darkness unsure about where I was, I had recently been sleeping around (haha) Ecuador and I muttered to myself... I am home... and with a childlike contentment feel asleep in my arms.

Sunday I woke up and did some work on my dying laptop. Just like heat and humidity get to old people, my computer wavers in the Ecuadorian coast. Then, I had one of the most tranquilo days of my life. With my Ecuadorian Mom, Dad and brother Angel, I walked the 3 km to visit my god-daughter. The mother (my conmadre) is 19, pregnant again, for the third time, with a third man, with whom she is not with, again. She lives with her Aunt who has the biggest heart in the world and cares for everyone. My pregnant conmadre, Maria, has had an awful pregnancy. She was just bleeding for a full month. The doctors in the area couldn´t tell her what was wrong and told her the baby was dead. As soon as the news reached me I sent $20 and told her Aunt to take her to Bahia (where the PentHouse is) because there is a good hospital there. Turns out the baby is fine and the visit to the hospital saved her and the baby. I don´t really know what was wrong because the Aunt didn´t understand. What they understand is that Maria and the baby are fine. Being a woman of science, I wonder how fine the baby is and wonder if bringing the baby into the world is actually a cruel joke from god rather than a blessing. They don´t want the baby and are trying to give it to someone, not sell it, gift it. The situation is depressing and heart wrenching and with this in mind I went to visit my god-family.

I got there and my little 18month old god daughter ran to me with open arms. Her cousins and older brother all followed. Soon I was surrounded by dirty little kids and I was in heaven. All of the negative feelings I felt during the walk melted away. The most amazing thing to me in the world right now are children. Children who have holes in their clothes, destented bellies, no decent bathing and often no parental love, these children amaze me because they seem to have the biggest hearts and give the best hugs. Attention, hugs, playing and care can transform a sad little girl into a princess and I get to give this to so many kids. People here always remark ¨Look, Andrea doesn´t have any kids but knows how to care for them better than most mothers¨. Children for me are the little energy that keep me going. Children whose mothers are irresponsible, father´s are non-existent and opportunities seem limited. Making a child like this giggle is an incomparable feeling.

And so, I spent my Sunday. With my Ecuadorian family, my god-daughter and kids everywhere. The aunt killed a chicken for us for lunch. This is a tradition here in honor of important guests. My Ecuadorian Mom and brother are the god parents to the little boy, my father and I god parents to the little girl so this was important. A chicken must be sacrificed. Right in front of my face. She twisted the neck about 5 times and just snapped it with an artistic experienced hand. No blood was shed and later, this chicken made a delicous soup. While the adults ate at the table the kids all huddled around on the floor eating. I drank juice that I knew would kill my stomach later, made with water out of the river, not boiled, not treated. After I relaxed in a hammock with the kids pushing me side to side, climbing, giggling kids. The airness of the bamboo house kept the temperature perfect, the lighting just right and so, I dozed off a little bit until the walk home. I couldn´t believe the photo opportunities that I missed this happy Sunday, I hope my words do it justice.

Arriving in Tabuga, work called and on my little trip to the center of town I found everyone I needed to talk to. Everything was going so well, so happily and in this air of good energy I ran into a good friend of mine, I would say one of my few really good female Ecuadorian friends, Geomira. I was holding her beautiful baby, talking business with the cook from the reserve. When I went to drop the baby off in her house Geomira handed me a pretty blue devil blue ring. I was obviously confused until she showed me hers and explained, rings of friendship.

As I headed back to my house, my godson and brothers joined me and admired my ring. My Sunday was complete, full of family and friends. As I went to sleep I thought to myself, the only Sunday in the world better than this Sunday would be going to sleep in the arms of a true love. But, hey, life is about timing and a spinster´s life seems to be the best for me... for now...

Lots of love and contentness (a word I made up because I am not very good at English right now.. Commonly used is the word contentment)

HUGS
Andrea