Random Rat Ramblings

I didn’t ever realize that 14 hour bus rides were something you could get used to. But, after a long weekend in the jungle, my 14 hour bus ride really wasn’t too bad. I probably slept 50% of it. The fact that I only slept 1.5 hours the night before definitely helped but, overall, I really have gotten used to these bus rides. I even got excited today when the bus stopped for a little bit and a round of 15 merchants selling everything from mangos to French fries with fried chicken to fake cigarettes that have red sparkle stuff on the end and let out baby powder when you blow into them. I chowed down an ice cream cone that should be called a lamely chocolate flavored ice chunk stale cone and devoured some corn bread with cheese. I even bought 2 of the fake cigarettes for 25 cents for the Ecuadorian teenage girl that was traveling with me.
Whenever I see the lights of Pedernales, the seedy costal town a half hour north of Taubga, I get all tingly inside. In March, 2007 the first time I went to Pedernales I cried afterwards. I couldn’t believe that that shithole was supposed to be the place I was going to go to “get away from everything” for the next two years. Pedernales is dirty, dusty, hot and not very pretty. The Rough Guide to Ecuador book claims it is “unremarkable”. Now, almost two years later, Pedernales is the first sign of home. It’s like going through the Hooksett toll booth on 93N after getting picked up at the airport, you know Concord is just a few hills and curves away. Pedernales is my Ecuadorian version and as soon as I step off the bus into the dusty hot bus terminal that reeks of piss, I feel home. I even played myself a nice reggae version of Country Roads to get me in that “I am almost home mode”.
Getting back to Tabuga is a whole different kind of emotional rush. The rush that says, your bed, your things, your family and your friends are waiting for you. I love that feeling when I open the door, turn the light on and see my America in a Box room. In that moment, the whole world takes a deep breath and lets out a sigh. After 14 hours on a bus it’s surprising that all I want to do is sit down. My colorful blanket on my big comfy bed is so welcoming. I sit, I start to lean back. I pause. Gross. Rat terds on my bed, right near my pillow. I laugh out loud to myself. What else can you do?
As I am contemplating my rat poop spotted bed, the part near the pillow, someone knocks on my door. My godson and his mom are visiting to welcome me home. They are my next door neighbors and watch my every move. They saw the light go on, they came over. I am strategically sitting on the bed to block the rat poop. I am sure they have rats in their house but come on, who wants their neighbors to know that rats shit next to your pillows?
I am telling stories about my weekend and they are laughing. Being in Ecuador has really upped my confidence in story telling abilities because people think I am the funniest most outrageous person they have ever meant. In the middle of a knee slapper my conmadre jumps out of her chair. A rat is scurrying across thee door frame, across the wall beam and disappears. I stand up and I grab my broom and start poking behind my bookshelf and under my bed. My god son points out the rat feces on my bed, now freely exposed. We sit back down and finish the conversation. We say sweet dreams and see you tomorrrow.
So, I really wanted to title this blog “Crotchless Panties” but I know what people would think. Get your heads out of the gutter; they are not the kind you are thinking about. Lately, the rats in my house have morphed into bigger versions of themselves. I think it has to do with the rat poison that we have been putting in around the house. The rats have been eating it without dying. Maybe it’s having reverse effects? Anyway, when I first got to Tabuga I was grossed out and annoyed by rats eating my soap in the shower. Well, this past week I threw out 4 pairs of crotchless panties, all of which were used on long 5-7 hour hikes and days working outside with a machete and hoe. Apparently rats dig the salty sweatiness of work panties. Here is a picture to prove it. I know, gross. Crotchless panties make rat poop near your pillow seem like a housefly… annoying but harmless. I am now accepting underwear donations.